The Ramblings of a Mad Man

Bedtime Conversations

Today was kind of a slow day for us. The kids and I drug ourselves out of bed around 0930 (EST). My mom had headed off to work and my sister and niece had gone shopping. My niece is heading off to church camp on Monday, so there were some last minute items they needed.

Rose, Dave and I had fruit salad for breakfast and we watched a little tv. I got dressed and then helped them get into their attire for the day. We headed off to go find a barbershop so I could get a haircut. We drove all over town, stopping at a few barbershops, but they were all packed with people. I guess Saturday isn’t the best day to get a haircut in Lakeland. Especially when there don’t seem to be too many decent ones left.

The last one we went to was called Clean Cuts. As soon as you walk in, your ears are assaulted with rap “music”, the barbers all take their time like they are getting paid by the hour and no one even bothers to greet you. Okay, I live in a military town. Barbers there make an effort to get your attention just so that they can gain a following. There isn’t a whole lot of that going on here in Lakeland anymore. The kids and I sat there for almost an hour and the same people that were in the chairs when we got there were still there when I decided a haircut could wait until we went home. Overall, not impressed with the options here.

The kids and I headed back to my sister’s house. The kids were hungry so I fixed them sandwiches and then a slice of leftover pizza followed by some more mixed fruit. My kids love fruit. Definitely their favorite meal of choice.

After lunch, we piled up into my sister’s recliner and half dozed, half watched tv until my sister and niece came in from their shopping adventure. Dave went off to play with his cousin, while Rose seemed to be having a need for daddy. She snuggled back down after asking her aunt and cousin all sorts of questions. I dozed off and she just let me sleep. She got up a few times to go play, but she kept coming back to snuggle daddy some more. It was nice.

My sis reheated some leftovers for dinner. We had the pork roast with vegetables that I made the other night, macaroni with cheese and venison stew with carrots and potatoes. All together, a delicious meal in my opinion. The kids ate and then we gathered them up and headed to the park to let them burn off some excess energy.

I had the duty of following Rose around. As soon as that little girl gets to the park, she turns into a triathlon champion; running, climbing, sliding, running, spinning, running, swinging, running, etc. You get the point. I did a lot of running. My 7 year old is surprisingly fast! That’s my girl.

The kids had a blast at the park. I definitely got some exercise in chasing Rose around. The harridan made her nightly call at 1900hrs (EST). The kids were mildly distracted. Rose ran all over the park with the phone in her hand, giving her egg donor a play by play of what she was doing. When she was done talking to her, she said “Bye” and handed me the phone. I just hit the end call button and went on about our lives. We played until the park closed at 2000hrs (EST).

After leaving the park, we headed to one of those little road side kiosks where you can get ice. We filled up the cooler and headed back to my sister’s house. The kids were all begging for dessert and I told them that I knew this nifty little Popsicle joint on G-Street. Yes, I was definitely talking about my sister’s house.

We came back to the house, had our Popsicles and played for a while. The kids took turns getting baths while the other two were watching old Popeye cartoons. It was rather amusing. Around 2200hrs (EST), we all said our bedtime prayers and the kids went down for the night. Rose decided she wanted to sleep with Dave and I tonight so she crawled in bed with him.

They kept calling for me, so I went and crawled in between them. I made them giggle a bit and I rubbed Rose’s back. Dave had questions for me tonight. He wanted to know about what the future held and why things were the way they are. I told him that we would be headed back home (NC) on Wednesday. I have an appointment on Thursday and Rosie has one on Friday. I explained to him that I had made an appointment for us to go and talk to someone about the changes our family is going through.

I told him that we will go talk to a nice lady that can give us pointers on how to adapt to the changes in our lives. Dave isn’t a fan of new people and I told him that he doesn’t have to speak to her the first time if he doesn’t want to. He accepted that grudgingly. He then asked me why the lady came to his aunt’s house last Sunday. Yep, he put me on the spot, and in the nicest way possible, I tried to explain it to him. I told him that mommy had called the people wanting them to make sure he and Rosie were safe. I told him that mommy had told them that I had slapped his sister in the face. My 5 year old, God bless him, looked at me like this was the stupidest thing he had ever heard and said, “But you didn’t.” I told him that he was correct, but mommy really wants him and Rosie to come live with her again. He once again told me, “Daddy, I miss mommy, but I want to live with you.”

He and I discussed the changing nature of our family. He has been acting up a little lately. Mostly by telling lies and telling me that mommy and I still love each other. I generally try to deflect those statements. For a while, I still loved Morgan, but on 30 May 12, when my lawyer was reading the DSS records out loud in open court of the reported incidents involving Morgan’s behavior towards our children, that ended. I learned of these incidents for the first time and it created in me a pure, unadulterated and absolutely evil hate in me for her. I knew about a few, but I was never there when they happened and I trusted my wife’s word. When I heard the actual incidents and then later read the records for myself, I was completely shocked that our children weren’t removed from Morgan’s care.

I don’t know how to respond to him when he says that his mother and I still love one another. I generally just change the subject, but he is definitely my son. He is very observant and can read me like an open book most of the time. My deflections and topic changes definitely pique his interest. I just explained to him again tonight that we, his parents, love him and his sister very much. We will not be living together as a family anymore. Choices and decisions have been made that not all of us got a say in. This is our life now. I told him that I will ensure that he gets to spend as much time with his mom as possible, but it will be a while before that happens again. What is a tactful and G-Rated way of saying that mommy keeps trying to hurt daddy to get him and Rosie back? Hopefully the counselor will have some insight on that this coming week.

Anyway, I am going to go now. It is half past midnight and I should try and get some sleep. My brain is in overdrive tonight after the conversations with my son and other events in life. I can’t wait until things get on an even keel for a while. Trying to keep our little boat from tipping on my own is a chore into itself, but I have an awesome support network. C’est la vie. All I can do is keep fighting to protect my two little gifts from God, my little blond haired, blue eyed angels. Rose got mad at me when I told them that before I came to get them, I had been sad. She yelled at me, “No sad, Daddy! You happy!” I just told her that I am definitely not sad anymore because I have her and Dave to make me happy. She rolled over and kissed me on the cheek and repeated her declarative one more time. She then promptly rolled back over so I could rub her back some more until she fell asleep.

Have I mentioned that my kids are awesome?

Good night, dear reader, my midnight confidante. May God bless you as He continues to bless me. If you aren’t a believer, I hope you don’t mind if I say a prayer for you anyway. Take care folks. Sleep well.



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One response

  1. It is most wonderful to have ones children with them at all times. I have missed my little birdie tremendously and cant wait to go up and get her next weekend.

    Hope that all goes well with the counselor and the kids can get things sorted out. I was lucky in that my children were very young when I left dickhead and they really have never had much issues with it!

    July 8, 2012 at 18:20

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